Sunday Morning

It's raining today. I woke up to the sound of the incessant beating on the sheet of glass that covers the window well to the window of the basement where I sleep. Not that the sound of the rain really bothered me all that much, it's just that I feel like the days slip faster and faster and I woke up and thought about how quickly the days have passed. Just last week I woke up on Sunday morning on a couch in Provo, UT. I'm still not quite sure how I got there, but it was an amazing trip. Meeting family is always a scary thing. But, I've met them all now and it wasn't as bad as I had thought. I generally don't have problems meeting people, I'm pretty sociable. It's been three, I guess technically four, months since I met her and time has really flown. I've only been with here for 6 days since I left California, but we still take time out of our busy lives to just be us. We talk and really, it has been a great blessing to just talk. We discussed the other night, how so very few people when they are in a relationship just get the chance to spend a few hours every night, just talking. I'm pretty sure this is the most random post and very jumbled, I'm just writing as the words come to my mind. It's ok though, the point is made. Back to the topic though, just a few more weeks and She'll be back, and we will get to spend the whole week of Thanksgiving together, and she'll meet my Mom and Dad for the first time. I know she's scared, and I'll be honest I'm a little timid myself, but my Mom has really started to come around and is beginning to accept this whole situation. She asked if we'd been shopping for rings the other day. Totally surprised me, but I said yes, and couldn't help by smile realizing that she had finally grasped the fact that we're serious. I know it seems time has gone fast behind me, but I can only hope that time moves faster in front of me, at least for now...

So, today, I decided that I wanted to post something a little special. She's coming this week and I can't wait. 5 days and we'll be together, not for very long, but for long enough to once again know what the other looks like. Just kidding, but you know what I mean. It's been a month since I last saw her and so I wanted to surprise her with this little video that I put together. The song on the video was one that I wrote the week before last and I sent it to her then. I've been so blessed with the ability to play music and be able to express myself likewise. I know that I will continue to write for the rest of my life. So she definitely has many more awesome songs to come, that's for sure. I hope that this expresses just a little bit, how I feel about her. She's so amazing. Babe, I love you, enjoy this.

Absence

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I didn't know or think much about this comment or phrase until now. It seems that the more I am away from her the more I want to be close to her. Even just walking around campus I see girls that I think are her and for a second my heart skips a beat, but then, disheartened I turn away knowing that it's just another girl, not the one I love. But soon she and I will be back together. She's coming to visit this week and it will be the best thing. I guess I have this vision that when I see her it will be like falling in love all over again. Just the thought of her and I brings a smile to my face. With her picture next to my bed every night I look up and smile and she just smiles back. I know that she really is smiling because of me, I just wish for a split second some nights she was really there smiling. But, looking at the past month we have really grown a lot. I feel like she has become my best friend. I know that I can talk to her about everything. This time apart has really helped us to build our relationship on the things that we needed to build upon. I'm grateful for her love and kindness and support that she gives to me. Love, although not tangible, when I am away from her feels somehow apart of me like she takes a little piece of her heart every second and gives it to me, this keeps my heart with her, where it needs to be.

Some Thoughts!

So, I was just think about some of the things going on in my life. But this was part of an Old Testament Assignment. I sometimes have some of my most insightful moments immersed in the scriptures. This particular exerpt is inspired by Joshua 24:15. As I am preparing to one day have a family of my own, I will need to help them and guide them in ways of righteousness. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. I know that if I serve the Lord I will see my family grow and progress in ways that I never thought possible. I hope to make all right decisions, but I know that is not possible, but I know that will a loving wife my my side we can help our family to be the best they possibly can.

Since I was a child I knew that I was different, having to stand up against adversity, and live a life full of standards that most others around thought were ridiculous. At these times in my life, I was faced with a choice, to fold under the pressures of the world or to stand and follow Christ. As time passed and with each day that I made this decision my desire to follow Christ increased and I began to become stronger and less susceptible to the temptations of the world. Of course there were times when the decision was more conscious than other days, and sometimes, I didn’t choose right. But now with experience and a stronger faith, the decision to serve the Lord is easier, not easy. This decision will always be one to be made, not to forget.

Learning by Faith

This morning I had the opportunity to read a talk by Elder Bednar, Learning By Faith. This talk was amazing and really opened my eyes to how complacent I become sometimes. Faith as I was re-learning today is not just something I have but more importantly something I do. He spoke how I must have assurance which leads to action which leads to evidence. It's like an ever upward spiral leading me to heights greater than I could ever had expected. I realized today that we have so many exchanges on a day to day basis, how many are we prepared for and how many are we spiritually ready to listen and learn as one teaches by the spirit and the other learns by faith. I hope that I have power to do both.

Waking up...

Over the past few weeks I have woken up in the middle of the night not quite sure where I am or where she is. It's weird waking up and almost immediately throwing off my covers and wanting to run to her side. But only to realize the she's not there or anywhere close to me. I would say that's a good thing. I miss her quite terribly, but I know that no matter what she will always be with me even when she is not close. She is dedicated beyond my dreams. I admire her for her willingness to support me and her continual effort to make things work. I know that later on in our lives that will become a invaluable skill and trait. I love her for all that she is and all that she has been for me and all that she will continue to be.

My First Blog

It's amazing how much a life can change with just a few minutes and a night under the stars! Two weeks ago I had no idea my life would never be the same. So here I sit to tell my story... Blond hair and brown eyes, looked at me, soft and so expectant, but I did not know what to expect, she put her hands on my waist and I gave her a hug that I had not given or received in quite a while. After watching "My Girl" with her sisters we sat on the porch with guitar in hand, apparently my words come out better with song than straight from my lips. She got my drift, I didn't think anything would come of this particular moment, I just thought that I would have another friend to possibly talk with when I was at school. The time passed with much swiftness and I didn't realize or really care that as the night wore on I would feel the effects of fatigue the next day. All I could think about was "Is this really possible?" I don't think she knew, I know that I had no clue, but over the next two days I would think and replay that fateful hug over and over again until the next time we would meet. We met and I wanted to tell her, but almost premature, I knew that I was totally falling head over heels, and many would say that love doesn't happen like that. We kissed underneath the stars and the words played in my thoughts and on the tip of my tongue, but no words could express what was going through my mind. All I could see was her eyes shining in the moonlight, and all I could think was that something more was happening than just a casual friendship, and feelings grew and grew. Late that night I left and we planned to meet the next day, we did, and sparks still flew and we both knew, but neither wanting to ruin what was happening said anything. The next night, we went dancing, and had the time of our lives, when we got back to her house, we went to the back yard, I asked her what it was like to fall in love, she said she didn't know or would know until it happened, about and hour later, I looked her in the eyes and said the three words that scare people to death but at the same time bring the most elaborate feelings of ecstasy. She looked me straight in the eyes and as if she had said it a million times returned the sentiment. I had no idea what the consequences or blessings of my actions would be. She loved me back, isn't that enough. Now that time has passed, each day it is becoming more and more a reality, and I miss her like crazy! I had to leave to go back to school, but she is constantly with me. We'll be together soon, and I count the days until that happens.